Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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