Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm bleeding and have questions
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