how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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