I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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