can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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