a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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