look no pants
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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