We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize