I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
