I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
