I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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