John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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