why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
