I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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