Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
