we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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