He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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