Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
