I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We are all done wearing pants today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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