PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
