Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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