i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
