What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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