They should really pass out barf bags in church
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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