Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
