Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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