Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
