She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
