Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
