well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
