Me too!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You ruined the universe
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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