I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
