she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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