Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We have started to decorate penises.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
