You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
