When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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