in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
