So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your cock deserves a montage
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
