After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
