is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
