R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
