I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
