We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
