He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
