just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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