Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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