do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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