how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
