is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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