Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
