I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
