Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
