I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
