I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
