do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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