singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
