In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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