he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize