ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
