i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
