Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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